Josiah is officially a toddler. He is “toddling” all over the place! His new-found mode of transportation has also encouraged new activities, like driving his Cozy Coupe Police Car around the kitchen, and being able to get out of the cart and walk around when we go to the store. I love watching him discover and master new things. I feel the same way now that I did when he first lifted his head up…rolled over…sat up…crawled…pulled up to stand…drank through a straw…smiled…giggled…I actually remember being proud of some of his better burps as a tiny baby! I am convinced in these moments that he is the smartest, most talented, perfect thing that God ever created. Love wells up in me from somewhere so deep I can’t even identify its source: I didn’t know I had it in me.
The way I delight in Josiah is helping me to understand the way God delights in me. I used to think that the fact that God loves everybody kind of nullified the fact that He loves me. When I was in college, I was a part of Campus Crusade for Christ. There was a gospel tract we used in evangelism called “The Four Spiritual Laws” which I must have shared with hundreds of people. The first Spiritual Law is “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life.” I didn’t realize it at the time, but the fact that I could walk up to anyone and tell him these words cheapened my understanding of God’s love. I don’t think I have ever doubted that God loves me. He loves everyone. But does God love me especially? Because that is the kind of love I want. Books, Bible verses, tracts, and Spiritual leaders would say “yes.” But if every friend is a best friend, they are all just friends, right? If every color is a favorite color than they might as well all be grey. Average love never seemed good enough…but I am starting to get it. I am starting to see how amazing normal is.
As a mother, I see things with my heart in a way my head never grasped before. My love for Josiah wells up and overflows….all the time….when he successfully toddles all the way down the hallway…AND when he loses his balance and plops on his butt! I am so proud of the way he gets back up and tries again. But I love him just as much when he doesn’t want to get back up, but needs a hug instead. He is not doing anything super special: just normative development. But I am truly so proud and have so much joy in it. He is amazing simply because he is amazing. He doesn’t need to do anything out of the ordinary and I think it is extraordinary. God is my father. He cares for me in much the same way that I care for my son. When I (fill-in-the-blank), I may only be doing the same thing that hundreds of thousands have done before me. And yet I think God beams with pride; I think His heart overflows with love. After all, I am His baby and I am learning to toddle by faith!
I’m linking up: