Josiah woke up sick this morning. Throwing up.
I hate seeing him so miserable and wish that I could just take it on myself. And let him get back to being him…the happy little boy he is on those more colorful, sunshiny sort of days.
But–I’ll admit–there is also a part of me that kind of sort of likes it when he is feeling down. Don’t get me wrong, I’d never wish it upon him…but it is real life. And sometimes the icky parts of real life can actually be sort of beautiful. Because, on these blueish grayish sort of icky days, he needs me in a whole new way. More.
In his distress and through his tears, he cuddles and clings (not the annoying sort of clinging) and hugs and holds on. He accepts kisses and hugs with a different sort of eagerness and acceptance. He lets me love him. Lets me take care of him.
I think our children’s blue and gray days are one of the many windows we get as parents into the heart of God.
On OUR blueish grayish sort of icky days (when we are feeling down, hurt, upset, etc., etc.), we are like a sick child in the arms of our Father. We need Him in a whole new way. More.
Like any parent, I do not believe God wishes that such things take hold of His children. But in this fallen world they do…and I think he kind of sort of relishes in the opportunity, too.
Because, in our distress and often through tears, we cling to God. We let Him love us. We let Him take care of us. In these weak moments, we accept what He has to offer with a different sort of eagerness and acceptance–for once aware of all that we can’t do for ourselves.
And so, today–as I hold my sick baby–I am reminded to also let God hold me.